Love Me If You Dare
I managed to get a copy of the dvd, from HMV yesterday, thanks to Mr G. I watched it when I got home, after Jamie's School Dinners and Desperate Housewives, my usual dose on a Wednesday night. The story is very enchanting, but somehow beautifully tragic. Although I thought the end was a little bit of a disappointment, but perhaps I am confused. I have to watch it again to analyse it fully.
Two days before I fly off to the Big Apple. Somewhat apprehensive, but my German friends excitement are starting to rub off. Perhaps that is good, but not looking forward to meeting at 6.30 in the morning just to get to the Birmingham airport by train.*sigh* Just me and a big empty bag, probably. Well, just in case I decide to have a nice shop, since I have been very good and controlling my desires for material things...till yesterday, at least. But hey, I'm going on holiday, so I'm allowed, no?! I'm working tomorrow, my last chance to earn some extra moolah, so I don't have to fret over not having enough for rent when I come home. And who knows, if I'm lucky, someone's gonna fetch me from the airport when I get back, and rescue me from the bustling London crowd... (:
Its been warmer, these two days, no more heavy coats, and my magazine group (Luisa,Paul,Anna,Jens,Hye Su and Echao) are loving hanging out on my roof terrace,...for tea, conversations and proper meetings too. By the time I get home from NY, it's going to be properly warm, almost summer, and more sun! Yay! Walks in the parks would be nice...
Only thing, it is freezing in NY now, about 1-8 degrees celcius, so..we're going a little back in time, because London has stopped being so cold, so...we have to pack extra...what a pain..Well, I'll just pray it'll be nice weather at least to walk around..who knows, it might be warmer than I think it is!
(:
*This might be my last entry before I leave, so...see you guys in a bit!
Happy Easter holidays everyone!!!!!!!!
**Just so you know, the mood is a special tribute for my coming trip... hehehe.. tacky, I know.I couldn't possibly resist... d:
Dysfunctional Dreamer
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Roasted Potatoes With Sauce and Canned Cod...
That's what Hector taught me to say, apparantly that tedious sentance is a replacement of something similar to ' anyway...' Hahhaa...If you ask me, it's a mouthful, really.
Gosh, my head throbs, probably still recovering from Saturday night, Luisa's housemate's Superhero party. I must say, it was pretty successful, and all of us were quite a mess by the end of it, but all for a good laugh.In our state of being overwhelmed with pot(and alcohol, for the rest), we're all chatty and nonsensical, constantly laughing about nothing and everything. I met a guy dressed as Jesus, a half-hearted hippie, and some other unmentionables. Most importantly, am impressed with Luisa's transformation into Superwhore Fairy(I am, I swear.Goncalo and housemates came after, so we had to fetch them in the freezing cold. What did I go as? Very boring, really, but I was a Super Psychadelic Loveblossom Fairy. A friend of Jesus, Super Andy, lent me his fairy wings...they looked better on me anyway..hee hee..Drifted in and out of sleep at some point, and received a very special long distance phone-call, so that made me very happy(although I can't remember what I blabbered on about, particularly).I got home at 6am on Sunday, and woke up 2 hours later for work. Was like a zombie for most parts of the day, till Nikolas decided to tip me over and hang me from my feet (I am not kidding, he really did it), and I never felt more nauseated in my life, coming back the right way up. I had to sit down for a good few minutes before I regained my composure.
Went straight back home, washed my face and crept under the covers for long awaited sleep. Very much needed too... Am still very *bleagh*..but am glad at least PPD is over... (:
That's what Hector taught me to say, apparantly that tedious sentance is a replacement of something similar to ' anyway...' Hahhaa...If you ask me, it's a mouthful, really.
Gosh, my head throbs, probably still recovering from Saturday night, Luisa's housemate's Superhero party. I must say, it was pretty successful, and all of us were quite a mess by the end of it, but all for a good laugh.In our state of being overwhelmed with pot(and alcohol, for the rest), we're all chatty and nonsensical, constantly laughing about nothing and everything. I met a guy dressed as Jesus, a half-hearted hippie, and some other unmentionables. Most importantly, am impressed with Luisa's transformation into Superwhore Fairy(I am, I swear.Goncalo and housemates came after, so we had to fetch them in the freezing cold. What did I go as? Very boring, really, but I was a Super Psychadelic Loveblossom Fairy. A friend of Jesus, Super Andy, lent me his fairy wings...they looked better on me anyway..hee hee..Drifted in and out of sleep at some point, and received a very special long distance phone-call, so that made me very happy(although I can't remember what I blabbered on about, particularly).I got home at 6am on Sunday, and woke up 2 hours later for work. Was like a zombie for most parts of the day, till Nikolas decided to tip me over and hang me from my feet (I am not kidding, he really did it), and I never felt more nauseated in my life, coming back the right way up. I had to sit down for a good few minutes before I regained my composure.
Went straight back home, washed my face and crept under the covers for long awaited sleep. Very much needed too... Am still very *bleagh*..but am glad at least PPD is over... (:
Friday, March 11, 2005
Detesting Getting Up...
This morning and yesterday, I have been in a battle with my bed and getting up.I don't know why, but maybe because I know, for once in a long time, I can afford to, properly. So I lazed in bed till 12 or 1pm, drifting in and out of sleep,till my conscience gets the better of me. So today, I forced myself up at 12, had a shower, put my clothes in the wash, and cleaned up my room in between. Had breakfast, and started hoovering the living room, kitchen, hallway and stairs. This seems to have set off a chain reaction with Mike, who started to clean up our part of the 4th floor, and the sink. I ended with putting the rugs in the wash as well, and mopping the floor. That's a lot of work in one day.
--------------------------------------------------------
*Day 3. Day three since you've gone. Receiving your text this morning made my heart stop a beat. The most wonderful thing to wake up to, yet, the scariest. I cannot wait for you to get home, I cannot wait for all this time to be over. Time apart is good, but I can only imagine how painful it is for you, to be away. Something has been blocking my flow of emotions, but slowly, I am trying to melt this heart of stone. You said I've put up all these walls, so defensive, so unwilling to let go, and perhaps you know me better than I do. I can't help but analyze these emotions, maybe in concentration, I have lost the plot. The plot was to fall, wholly and effortlessly, and just do what my hearts tells me to. How can I do that if my heart doesn't know? I can only try to make sense of it all. But I remember your parting words, the morning you left- stop using so much of this (points to head), and use this (points to heart) for once, please. You pleaded with me, so what can I do, but nod, and try to do as you say? I can't verbalize all I feel, but as I said, I only have written words for you. Time apart. Two and a half weeks to go, before I see you again. So maybe my heart shouldn't rush.
-----------------------------------------------------------
'I've only known what it is to be lonely
When into my life, you came walking through
Can this be real, I don't know what I'm feeling
Ooh, there's something 'bout you
And I can't believe the way that you know me
You sense every mood, ooh you know when I'm blue
But here in my heart, ooh there's mixed up emotions
Ooh, there's something 'bout you
I never wanted anybody, and I won't start now
I never planned it, I don't understand it, so tell me what can I do
Don't turn away, ooh I think I'm still learning
Yeah, there's something 'bout you'
Bad Company- Something About You
This morning and yesterday, I have been in a battle with my bed and getting up.I don't know why, but maybe because I know, for once in a long time, I can afford to, properly. So I lazed in bed till 12 or 1pm, drifting in and out of sleep,till my conscience gets the better of me. So today, I forced myself up at 12, had a shower, put my clothes in the wash, and cleaned up my room in between. Had breakfast, and started hoovering the living room, kitchen, hallway and stairs. This seems to have set off a chain reaction with Mike, who started to clean up our part of the 4th floor, and the sink. I ended with putting the rugs in the wash as well, and mopping the floor. That's a lot of work in one day.
--------------------------------------------------------
*Day 3. Day three since you've gone. Receiving your text this morning made my heart stop a beat. The most wonderful thing to wake up to, yet, the scariest. I cannot wait for you to get home, I cannot wait for all this time to be over. Time apart is good, but I can only imagine how painful it is for you, to be away. Something has been blocking my flow of emotions, but slowly, I am trying to melt this heart of stone. You said I've put up all these walls, so defensive, so unwilling to let go, and perhaps you know me better than I do. I can't help but analyze these emotions, maybe in concentration, I have lost the plot. The plot was to fall, wholly and effortlessly, and just do what my hearts tells me to. How can I do that if my heart doesn't know? I can only try to make sense of it all. But I remember your parting words, the morning you left- stop using so much of this (points to head), and use this (points to heart) for once, please. You pleaded with me, so what can I do, but nod, and try to do as you say? I can't verbalize all I feel, but as I said, I only have written words for you. Time apart. Two and a half weeks to go, before I see you again. So maybe my heart shouldn't rush.
-----------------------------------------------------------
'I've only known what it is to be lonely
When into my life, you came walking through
Can this be real, I don't know what I'm feeling
Ooh, there's something 'bout you
And I can't believe the way that you know me
You sense every mood, ooh you know when I'm blue
But here in my heart, ooh there's mixed up emotions
Ooh, there's something 'bout you
I never wanted anybody, and I won't start now
I never planned it, I don't understand it, so tell me what can I do
Don't turn away, ooh I think I'm still learning
Yeah, there's something 'bout you'
Bad Company- Something About You
Thursday, March 10, 2005
The Missing Pieces...
Viqui(bottom picture,on my right) told me the other day that she is leaving Eric Snooks to go back to Spain. I couldn't help but start tearing, and she did too. It's one of those things whereby you can't help but get attached to someone who has been so wonderful, and when they tell you they're going away, your heart feels like someone stepped on it,with a pair of heavy boots. It definately sucks, but I have to be happy for her, moving on, starting life anew, and hopefully she's going to be happier there. I promised to write many crazy letters to her, so we will still be in touch. We had to make a deal for now, not to talk about it, or it will upset the other person.
And of course, I am missing someone else too...left me yesterday morning, someone I won't see for the next three weeks...but this time apart is going to be good, to digest and settle down all that has happened, that has swept through like a whirlwind. So surreal, so...amazing, but someone smacked me on the head, and I felt the pain, so it must be true.
Viqui(bottom picture,on my right) told me the other day that she is leaving Eric Snooks to go back to Spain. I couldn't help but start tearing, and she did too. It's one of those things whereby you can't help but get attached to someone who has been so wonderful, and when they tell you they're going away, your heart feels like someone stepped on it,with a pair of heavy boots. It definately sucks, but I have to be happy for her, moving on, starting life anew, and hopefully she's going to be happier there. I promised to write many crazy letters to her, so we will still be in touch. We had to make a deal for now, not to talk about it, or it will upset the other person.
And of course, I am missing someone else too...left me yesterday morning, someone I won't see for the next three weeks...but this time apart is going to be good, to digest and settle down all that has happened, that has swept through like a whirlwind. So surreal, so...amazing, but someone smacked me on the head, and I felt the pain, so it must be true.
Truth
Here is something I found when accidentally chancing upon this book, by Saul Bellow. This particular paragraph certainly makes a lot more sense put in words than I can ever comprehend in my head.So for all the fellow manic depressives out there, here is something to identify to, just like I have.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'But think- if Energy is Delight and if Exuberance is Beauty, the Manic Depressive knows more about Delight and Beauty than anyone else.Who else has so much more Energy and Exuberance?Maybe it is the strategy of Psyche to increase Depression.
Didn't Freud say that Happiness was nothing but the remission of Pain?So the more Pain the intenser the Happiness.But there is a prior origin to this, and the Psyche makes Pain on purpose.
Anyway, Mankind is stunned by the Exuberance and Beauty of certain individuals. When a Manic Depressive escapes from his Furies he is irresistable. He captures History. I think that aggravation is a secret technique of the Unconscious.'
Humboldt's Gift, by Saul Bellow.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is something I found when accidentally chancing upon this book, by Saul Bellow. This particular paragraph certainly makes a lot more sense put in words than I can ever comprehend in my head.So for all the fellow manic depressives out there, here is something to identify to, just like I have.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'But think- if Energy is Delight and if Exuberance is Beauty, the Manic Depressive knows more about Delight and Beauty than anyone else.Who else has so much more Energy and Exuberance?Maybe it is the strategy of Psyche to increase Depression.
Didn't Freud say that Happiness was nothing but the remission of Pain?So the more Pain the intenser the Happiness.But there is a prior origin to this, and the Psyche makes Pain on purpose.
Anyway, Mankind is stunned by the Exuberance and Beauty of certain individuals. When a Manic Depressive escapes from his Furies he is irresistable. He captures History. I think that aggravation is a secret technique of the Unconscious.'
Humboldt's Gift, by Saul Bellow.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, March 07, 2005
Decadent Dreamer
Now, doesn't this sound nice? It's actually a name of a shampoo dear friend Luisa bought from Morrisons today...smells really nice, with a hint of jasmine, but the colour and consistancy of it is like rose syrup..so, maybe I can't exactly imagine myself bathing in syrup..
Anyway, Joe came back to the shop for a visit, with his girlfriend Laura, and German friend, Caroline. We went to the usual Italian place for buffet, but with Hector and Yuko missing, it wasn't as fun as it normally is. It was, really nice to see Joe again though. He was greatly missed.
It was so cold, we just hopped to the Waikiki Bar, opposite the restaurant for drinks, just to escape the cold. Wolfman (Danny) took a poloroid of us, and I know I look really bright with my fuschia cardigan, but hey...I didn't know he carried a poloroid with him wherever! I also didn't realize..how long my hair was! Woah...
So here we are...pretty happy people...in Waikiki bar, Soho.
Now, doesn't this sound nice? It's actually a name of a shampoo dear friend Luisa bought from Morrisons today...smells really nice, with a hint of jasmine, but the colour and consistancy of it is like rose syrup..so, maybe I can't exactly imagine myself bathing in syrup..
Anyway, Joe came back to the shop for a visit, with his girlfriend Laura, and German friend, Caroline. We went to the usual Italian place for buffet, but with Hector and Yuko missing, it wasn't as fun as it normally is. It was, really nice to see Joe again though. He was greatly missed.
It was so cold, we just hopped to the Waikiki Bar, opposite the restaurant for drinks, just to escape the cold. Wolfman (Danny) took a poloroid of us, and I know I look really bright with my fuschia cardigan, but hey...I didn't know he carried a poloroid with him wherever! I also didn't realize..how long my hair was! Woah...
So here we are...pretty happy people...in Waikiki bar, Soho.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Overboard
Okay, so maybe blogging more than twice a day must be a bit too much...? But I am so afraid I might not get to use the computer again till next week, for I am waiting for replies from emails...to which I have not seen yet. Plus, I just feel the need to write.
A part of me is finally at peace with myself, but yet, life seems to be in a bit of chaos. Good chaos. Okay, fantastic positive chaos. (: Anyway, life on the schoolfront has been mundane, it's back to illustration,and recently I found out that a classmate quit(pity, he was one of the decent ones). Besides that, it's inductions week, with introduction to letterpress and photograpy, the latter which I missed out on today, because I wasn't feeling all that great this morning. Finally did some food shopping, although I couldn't find any good fruits to get this time- I really wanted some ripe bananas, but alas, I didn't. It's back to cous cous and yoghurt for now.
I owe so much to my diary, the proper one, which I carry around with me. It's been such a long time since I've put a decent entry into it, but the day I sat outside and calmed myself enough to write, I ended up writing eight pagefuls of entry. I am proud, for it's been productive.
So here I am on the roof terrace, one of those days when it's not too cold outside, wrapped up in my blanket, a hot cup of tea by my side,in the company of Buble and my diary.
Okay, so maybe blogging more than twice a day must be a bit too much...? But I am so afraid I might not get to use the computer again till next week, for I am waiting for replies from emails...to which I have not seen yet. Plus, I just feel the need to write.
A part of me is finally at peace with myself, but yet, life seems to be in a bit of chaos. Good chaos. Okay, fantastic positive chaos. (: Anyway, life on the schoolfront has been mundane, it's back to illustration,and recently I found out that a classmate quit(pity, he was one of the decent ones). Besides that, it's inductions week, with introduction to letterpress and photograpy, the latter which I missed out on today, because I wasn't feeling all that great this morning. Finally did some food shopping, although I couldn't find any good fruits to get this time- I really wanted some ripe bananas, but alas, I didn't. It's back to cous cous and yoghurt for now.
I owe so much to my diary, the proper one, which I carry around with me. It's been such a long time since I've put a decent entry into it, but the day I sat outside and calmed myself enough to write, I ended up writing eight pagefuls of entry. I am proud, for it's been productive.
So here I am on the roof terrace, one of those days when it's not too cold outside, wrapped up in my blanket, a hot cup of tea by my side,in the company of Buble and my diary.
Blogging After The Snow
I do apologize for my most feeble attempts at loading pictures and how long it took for me to finally get here. But as I have promised, I will deliver.
Although it has stopped snowing for the time being, after a week of beautiful snow, it has started raining again *sigh*, so out comes the brollies...
So here is one where,on my way to Wilson Road, it started snowing again, and bits stuck onto my black coat. It never ceases to amaze me, it's almost like someone working an ice-shaver above me...I couldn't resist.
And this was when, I woke up one morning to find my roof terrace snowed in...beautiful how everything is laced with white...
I do apologize for my most feeble attempts at loading pictures and how long it took for me to finally get here. But as I have promised, I will deliver.
Although it has stopped snowing for the time being, after a week of beautiful snow, it has started raining again *sigh*, so out comes the brollies...
So here is one where,on my way to Wilson Road, it started snowing again, and bits stuck onto my black coat. It never ceases to amaze me, it's almost like someone working an ice-shaver above me...I couldn't resist.
And this was when, I woke up one morning to find my roof terrace snowed in...beautiful how everything is laced with white...
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Hehe...success!!!! I know this is a bit late, but finally, here are the pictures of my aliens in fimo. (:
Handwriting University's WEEKLY STROKES Newsletter
So I am a geek, and I subscribed to this online newsletter about reading/ analyzing people's handwritings..but I found this quote particularly interesting.
Just thought I should share it.
"You can't please all the people all of the time. In fact,
you can't please some of the people some of the time.
Your best bet is to please yourself and forget about
what other people think." - Abraham Lincoln
So I am a geek, and I subscribed to this online newsletter about reading/ analyzing people's handwritings..but I found this quote particularly interesting.
Just thought I should share it.
"You can't please all the people all of the time. In fact,
you can't please some of the people some of the time.
Your best bet is to please yourself and forget about
what other people think." - Abraham Lincoln
It's raining...snowing? I don't know...
Today, sharing my first rain/snow experience with Luisa...honestly, very honoured, aren't you, linda? Hahha..It was actually pouring, with big bits of snow floating around...very bizzaire.
Anyways, my life is just beginning to take a turn where I have not crossed before. Something very strange, incomprehensible, but possibly wonderful could be around the corner. I shall not go into details, for it has been too special to share.
So I'll let Buble sing it for me... (:
A Foggy Day (In London Town)
I was a stranger in the city
Out of town were the people I knew
I had that feeling of self-pity
What to do? What to do? What to do?
The outlook was decidedly blue
But as I walked through the foggy streets alone
It turned out to be the luckiest day I've known
A foggy day in London Town
Had me low and had me down
I viewed the morning with alarm
The British Museum had lost its charm
How long, I wondered, could this thing last?
But the age of miracles hadn't passed,
For, suddenly, I saw you there
And through foggy London Town
The sun was shining everywhere.
Today, sharing my first rain/snow experience with Luisa...honestly, very honoured, aren't you, linda? Hahha..It was actually pouring, with big bits of snow floating around...very bizzaire.
Anyways, my life is just beginning to take a turn where I have not crossed before. Something very strange, incomprehensible, but possibly wonderful could be around the corner. I shall not go into details, for it has been too special to share.
So I'll let Buble sing it for me... (:
A Foggy Day (In London Town)
I was a stranger in the city
Out of town were the people I knew
I had that feeling of self-pity
What to do? What to do? What to do?
The outlook was decidedly blue
But as I walked through the foggy streets alone
It turned out to be the luckiest day I've known
A foggy day in London Town
Had me low and had me down
I viewed the morning with alarm
The British Museum had lost its charm
How long, I wondered, could this thing last?
But the age of miracles hadn't passed,
For, suddenly, I saw you there
And through foggy London Town
The sun was shining everywhere.
Deliriously Delusional! For anybody who knows me,or is willing to, this is a peek into the world in my head. Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a helluva ride! (:
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- This Life- Does It Always Have To Be An Ordeal?I a...
- Overdose On Decadence- Is There Such A Thing?I hav...
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