Dysfunctional Dreamer

Hitochi-ga-i-des (I Don't Know You)

There have been so many things going through my mind lately. Just finished reading "Any Human Heart" by William Boyd, and it's got me wanting to write so bad. It's inspired me to write, and the f***in computers in halls have just impeccable timing to break down!

Almost going insane, I have once more re-evaluated my life, and justify the purpose of my existence. I have so much emtional settlement to do, it's really mentally taxing. I'm on and off in a state of depression, and it's not really helping when all I wanted to do was get to a computer and type my life away, but I seem to have lost it all!*AAaaaaghhh!*

There have been a few revelations I've made, these past few days.
I have realized:
- that nobody can force me to socialize when I don't want to, it's safer that way I end up saving myself from embarrassment.
- that sometimes I feel I belong nowhere, but then, I have to be greatful for the friends who have stood by me countless times...
- that sometimes the most minute details you write in your diary reflect your honesty the most.
- that it is okay, to be alone.
- that (this is probably useless), but I can now curse and swear in five different languages.
- that being thrown into a country by yourself seems to speed up the growing process.
- that sometimes, I think, I don't even know what I'm capable of till someone tells me.
- that I still don't want to go home. It's looming disaster.
- je l'aime, mais il ne le sait pas

That is it...for now.

posted by nori_b @ 2:36 PM